Why am I so (trying to find the right word) irritated / upset / crushed / deflated (that’s the one) to have my messages overlooked on a random Twitch stream ? It isn’t personal, the streamer is just busy, but it really pushes some button deep in my soul. Partly it seems unfair every time someone else’s message is seen but mine isn’t, and partly it is that sense of exclusion you feel when others are part of something and you feel like an outsider. I am entirely aware this isn’t rational nor a proportionate reaction to what has occurred,
A friend of mine was telling me that I was better than a hole in the ground full of water. A deep hole. With a bucket. He meant well. It’s an old joke, and very much one of my high calibre. But it illustrates something I’ve just experienced. A friend has said that she has faith I will sort out what I need ahead of my photoshoot next week. She said : “I know you will make it work. You are a perfectionist !” This is obviously meant to be a very encouraging comment, reminding me that I tend to strive
Sigh. It is so easy to fall out of a habit such as blogging. What has been going on that I should have shared with you ? My finger is healing, but typing is not as easy as it might be because I have it bandaged. I could probably manage without a bandage but it does still “leak” a bit so it is best kept very very clean. TMI ? Well you don’t have to be here ! Today is my young dog’s second birthday. He has had a nice day with two outings, the second of which was a
If you aren’t sick before you go to an Urgent Treatment Centre, I can’t help feeling you will be by the time you are seen. Almost all the people in this room are sick children, who are also the ones who don’t have to wear face coverings and who are all suffering from hacking coughs. My little fabric face-covering isn’t going to make much difference. Why am I here ? I got a little bite today from a French Bulldog who decided to leap to my waist and make a snack of my fingers. These sorts of things aren’t usually
This evening, albeit briefly, I experienced a calm, a settled mess, a peace. If I had any idea idea what the word meant, I might have described myself as happy. I shall reflect later on what was and what was not present, to create such a moment, but for now, on a day that could have been marred by minor illness, a gentle peace has descended upon the three inhabitants of this home. Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.
A quick tip for anyone thinking about having a keyholder for their building. Don’t add a new fancy lock to the front door and then fail to give your keyholder a way to open that. Otherwise it will be late on Christmas Eve and he will be standing like a twat in a side street looking like a rubbish burglar as he tries to open a door while an alarm is going off. Let us hope it doesn’t sound again because there’s shit-all I can do about it tonight.
If you have a titter in your throat right now, and those words made it worse, shame on you ! I have made progress today. Not the sort of progress that most people would be proud of, but at least things have moved in the right direction. I have one small section of floor that is now clear and (relatively) clean, which is good, and a variety of other items have found homes as part of that. No, my surfaces are not clear, but it is an improvement. I have also just distributed cards to those in my local walking
I really did try. Well actually, it was weird. I lay in bed and didn’t go to sleep, but it wasn’t like I kept thinking “why can’t I get to sleep ?” I just didn’t sleep much. Then his dogness came by for his conversations and that wasn’t too bad because I wasn’t being woken from deep sleep. But now I am irritable. The young dog wouldn’t stop barking at things. A van. The postman. Me. Air. I tried throwing hose attachments at a fence but that didn’t seem to help at all. All the hose attachments have exploded in
A word I use to express anger or frustration when the event probably warrants a much stronger word. This morning I was lucky enough to have an emergency dental appointment to deal with the lower molar that sheared off last week. The dentist covered it in something temporary and said we may have to consider removing it in the new year. Fortunately it doesn’t hurt and now should be safe for Christmas. Just now I considered eating a certain snack, but instead I chose one less likely to cause problems for the new covering. Hey. Pays to be sensible. Just
I need to be careful today. My mood is off and I am feeling snarky. I can tell, even though I have not interacted with others, because I am being snarky in my head. Most of the day I am running conversations or scenarios through my mind in a constant whirl of pretend interactions. It is exhausting. But it is what I do. I saw a clip earlier of Chloe Grace Moretz explaining how she lied about her country of origin to book her first film role and I have been chuntering to myself about how the American studio audience insisted