Why am I so (trying to find the right word) irritated / upset / crushed / deflated (that’s the one) to have my messages overlooked on a random Twitch stream ? It isn’t personal, the streamer is just busy, but it really pushes some button deep in my soul.
Partly it seems unfair every time someone else’s message is seen but mine isn’t, and partly it is that sense of exclusion you feel when others are part of something and you feel like an outsider.
I am entirely aware this isn’t rational nor a proportionate reaction to what has occurred, but this blog is meant to be about highlighting these reactions so I can perhaps reflect upon them for self-improvement later.
Right now, however, I sense sleep is the way forward. I have both dogs in the bed with me which, although it leaves me no room to move or breathe, is lovely.